Professor Richard J Davidson on "Change the Brain by Transforming the Mind"

The Opposite Of Addiction is Connection

Do Stronger Human Connections Immunise Us Against Emotional Distress?

Right now an exciting new perspective on addiction is emerging. Johann Harri, author of Chasing The Scream, recently captured widespread public interest with his Ted talk Everything You Know About Addiction Is Wrong, where he concluded with this powerful statement:

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
– Johann Harri

These sentiments are augmented by a growing number of experts, including addiction specialist Dr Gabor Maté, who cites ’emotional loss and trauma’ as the core of addiction. Compare this ’emotional loss’ to Johan Harri’s idea about lack of connection and it is clear they’re talking about a similar emotional condition.

Limbic Resonance

If connection is the opposite of addiction, then an examination of the neuroscience of human connection is in order. Published in 2000, A General Theory Of Love is a collaboration between three professors of psychiatry at the University of California in San Francisco. A General Theory Of Love reveals that humans require social connection for optimal brain development, and that babies cared for in a loving environment are psychological and neurologically ‘immunised’ by love. When things get difficult in adult life, the neural wiring developed from a love-filled childhood leads to increased emotional resilience in adult life. Conversely, those who grow up in an environment where loving care is unstable or absent are less likely to be resilient in the face of emotional distress.

How does this relate to addiction? Gabor Maté observes an extremely high rate of childhood trauma in the addicts he works with and trauma is the extreme opposite of growing up in a consistently safe and loving environment. He asserts that it is extremely common for people with addictions to have a reduced capacity for dealing with emotional distress, hence an increased risk of drug-dependence.

How Our Ability To Connect Is Impaired By Trauma

Trauma is well-known to cause interruption to healthy neural wiring, in both the developing and mature brain. A deeper issue here is that people who have suffered trauma, particularly children, can be left with an underlying sense that the world is no longer safe, or that people can no longer be trusted. This erosion (or complete destruction) of a sense of trust, that our family, community and society will keep us safe, results in isolation – leading to the very lack of connection Johann Harri suggests is the opposite of addiction. People who use drugs compulsively do so to avoid the pain of past trauma and to replace the absence of connection in their life.

Social Solutions To Addiction

The solution to the problem of addiction on a societal level is both simple and fairly easy to implement. If a person is born into a life that is lacking in love and support on a family level, or if due to some other trauma they have become isolated and suffer from addiction, there must be a cultural response to make sure that person knows that they are valued by their society (even if they don’t feel valued by their family). Portugal has demonstrated this with a 50% drop in addiction thanks to programs that are specifically designed to re-create connection between the addict and their community.

Personal Solutions To Addiction

“Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain.”
– Gabor Maté

Recreating bonds is essential in the long term, but human connection is crucial in in the immediate task of clearing trauma. When a person decides to finally face and feel the pain that they may have been avoiding for years or decades, the first steps cannot be done alone.

“You have to be with that pain, but you have to have support.”
– Gabor Maté

This support is essentially the reintroduction of the care and support which is so important in creating the neural structure of emotional-resilience in early life. By doing so, we begin to replace what was missing, and thanks to the revelations of neuroplasticity we now know that you can in fact teach an old dog new tricks; neural rewiring is possible in adult life. Though it is essential for addicts to feel supported in order to finally face and feel the pain they have been trying to avoid, this is ultimately an inner journey that must be taken by the individual.

“Whatever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because the attempt to escape from pain creates more pain.”
– The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying

The Roots Of Healing

When we are young, our parents care for us until we are able to do it for ourselves, after all they won’t be there to do it for us forever. Perhaps, on an emotional level this is also true: our parents love us so that we may learn to do it for ourselves. The programs in Portugal have demonstrated that addicts do remarkably well when they feel valued by their community. Whether they realise it or not, the Portuguese are creating positive limbic modelling by valuing the addicts so they can learn to value themselves. When people are there to provide loving support for an addict wishing to face the emotional pain they carry, they are loving them and caring for them until they can learn do love themselves. With this in mind, perhaps the neural-wiring of emotional resilience developed through the loving reflection of another, once fully developed, could simply be called self-love.


Source:  By Jonathan Davis 
http://upliftconnect.com/opposite-addiction-connection/

Scientific Proof That Buying Things Can Actually Lead To Happiness (Sometimes)

Can money buy happiness? Psychologists and behavioral economists have been pondering this question for years. Or in other words, will a trip to the theater make someone happier than buying the latest gadget or vice versa?

Research over the last decade or so has sent out a resounding message: If you want to be happier, invest in experiences rather than things. In their groundbreaking work, psychologists Leaf Van Boven and Thomas Gilovich conducted a series of surveys and found that experiences made people happier than goods. Their findings were summarized in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Then in 2010, Gilovich, a professor of psychology at Cornell University, showed why.

Gilovich's study found that when people buy things, they are more likely to suffer buyer's remorse. They also tend to compare their material assets with those of others. On the other hand, it’s more difficult to compare other people's experiences with your own.

Moreover, the excitement of buying something new wanes overtime. "We buy a pair of shoes. It’s great at first. But then we get used to them," says Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness. "We adapt. And then we want to buy another pair of shoes." Several other studies by researchers at San Francisco State University have also linked happiness with experiences.

There is no denying that new challenges, travels, and thrills can provide deep satisfaction and meaning to a person, but let’s not write "things" off completely. It turns out that they can make us happy, too. "Most people are spending a little bit too much on material possessions," says Michael Norton, a professor of business administration at Harvard Business School and a co-author of Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending. "But that doesn’t necessarily mean that all material goods that you buy don’t make you happy. Some things make us happier than others."

New studies have provided compelling evidence that there is real value in some kinds of material purchases. In a study that was published in Psychological Science in April, researchers found that people were happier if they spent on things that matched their personality. The researchers looked at bank transactions of more than 600 individuals, all of whom anonymously filled out a questionnaire about their personality type and life satisfaction. The happiest people in the study seemed to be ones who spent more on things or services that were in sync with their personality type. For example, an outgoing person would love to blow his cash at a pub, but a more introverted person is likely to be happier spending that kind of money on books.

An object like a bicycle or a book can provide a lifetime of valuable experiences.

Joe Gladstone, a co-author of the study and a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge Judge Business School, Cambridge, says that this work does not assume, like some of the studies that have compared experiences with material goods, that there is one rule to happiness. "I think it’s more likely that for some people experiences would make them especially happier and for some people, they wouldn’t," says Gladstone.

The findings certainly resonate with Bernardo Margulis, who runs a graphic design studio called "This Makes Me Happy" in Philadelphia. "I am not big on brands, but I have my eyes on an iPad pro, a new bike, and a smart watch," he says. Items such as a set of markers or a new pad of paper are sources of joy for him. "But I don't generally get a rush out of the purchasing experience, and I don't really care for clothes or stuff like that," adds Margulis.

Additionally, a 2014 study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that products that helped buyers create an experience—the so-called "experiential purchases"—were as good at providing happiness as life experiences. An object like a bicycle or a book can provide a lifetime of valuable experiences.

Even minimalists root for products that can buy experiences. "If things allow us to create, enhance our experiences, connect us with people, they can make us happy," says Anthony Ongaro, creator of intentional living blog, Break the Twitch. His top experiential purchases: camera gear, video equipment, and musical instruments. "They can create revenue, progress an artistic craft, or provide fulfillment beyond the thing itself," Ongaro says.

More compelling evidence in favor for material goods came in the form of a December 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science. Researchers at the University of British Columbia found that things provide more long-lasting happiness than experiences. The researchers kept track of people’s happiness levels after they spent money on a material good (e.g., a speaker) or an experience (e.g., a vacation). What they found: the participants continued to feel frequent bouts of happiness over two weeks after purchasing a material good.

An experience produced an intense thrill while it lasted, but it diminished as time went by. "It really depends on what kind of happiness a particular person values," says Aaron Weidman, a co-author of the study and a Ph.D student at the University of British Columbia. "If you get tickets to the concert, or go to a nice restaurant, you really enjoy the experience, but happiness that you get ends after a short time. On the other hand, Weidman elaborates, if you buy a TV or a couch, it doesn’t give you one moment of thrill, "but over time it gives you more frequent moments of happiness."

Experiences may be more important for some people, but some individuals like to strike a balance between "doing" and "possessing." Josh Ayotte, an executive recruiter who just started his own firm, says he’s a "50-50 split" on experience vs. things. "I try to use my hard-earned money on things that will make me feel good," he says. When it comes to experiences, it’s playing golf and traveling, but he likes to reward himself with "a nice suit, a really nice pair of shoes, or an incredible bottle of wine" every now and then whenever he meets a goal.

An Asian getaway here, a fancy pair of loafers there. Maybe the happiness formula really does lie somewhere in between.

"Dinsa Sachan writes about psychology and neuroscience. Her writing has appeared in Scientific American Mind, Discover and Playboy.com, among others. You can check out her work on www.dinsasachan.com".

Source: http://www.fastcompany.com/3061516/scientific-proof-that-buying-things-can-actually-buy-happiness-sometimes